This post has been on my mind since the month after I quit my full time job. I've been thinking over and over again how I want to write it and how I want things to be read until I finally decided that whatever emotions come out during the process are what needs to be out. So here we go babes... a little insight into why I quit my full time job and how it changed my life; the real, raw and not always glamorous version.
Love yourself first and everything else falls into place - Lucille Ball
Not Every Dream is an Easy Decision
This point is one of the most important ones I want to get out. No, it was not easy. It wasn't a huge glorious moment of just sticking it to the man, quitting and walking out. It was a moment filled of questioning, going over every previous thought in my mind, reminding myself of all the whys, and also a feeling of anxiety of leaving a company with so much promise... And pay. I will say I remember having such a sigh of relief when I walked out of the building. I was done with it and now just had to move up from here, but it took months, lots of tears, lots of conversation with Kirby and my family and lots of decision making to get to that point. Quitting a job, I've heard, can sometimes be really easy, but when the other side is a job with a huge unknown it is super freaky.
Like noted above, it took months of decision making to get to the point of quitting. At the time I started thinking about wanting to leave my full time job I had been blogging for almost 2 years and was starting to see a huge increase in paid collaborations and opportunities coming to me. It was amazing and I started to dive even deeper into creating my own brand and my own mark in the social media world. Having a full time job that requires a lot of hustle was hard for me. Don't get me wrong, there are a ton of influencers out there that do it and they're amazing, but for me it's hard to have my passion and heart going in multiple different directions. I'm a perfectionist and extremely hard on myself. I like to give something my all and struggle with giving my all to multiple income sources, while also giving it my all as a wife, a daughter, a sister and a friend. I started to become so unbelievably stressed out that I was losing weight because I wasn't eating enough and crying almost everyday, both during the day and at night. That's when I started really hitting a low and feeling lost. Feeling like I didn't know which way I was going to to go and why... That's when I knew a change needed to be made. So when I say it wasn't an easy decision, I'm not lying. It was months of feeling I hit a low in my life and wondering why when I had so much promise. Making the decision to quit my full time job wasn't easy, but for me it was right.
Every decision comes with consequences: Good and Bad
This is something that applies to everything in life and is a really hard lesson to learn. Quitting my full time job has come with a lot of good. My happiness level is at an all time high and I finally feel like I'm moving in a direction I want to actually be moving in, not one I feel like I should be moving in. Thats truly something I've struggled with for as long as I can remember. I always try and do things I think I should be doing instead of following what I want to be doing, which in my opinion is no way to live. Life is way too short to be living it constantly going after things you think you should be doing. I mean, whats the fun or excitement, or even risk in that? I think the only risk is getting to a point in your life and looking back wishing you would have done something you truly wanted to or truly had passion behind instead of what you think the world expected from you. I am still learning this on a daily basis and having to remind myself to not follow someone else's expectations, dreams or wishes for my life. My life, is my life. You only have one and God has designed you differently than anyone else in this whole wide world. It brings to light my favorite saying lately, you do you baby boo!
With living my life as I have wanted to come's with good and bad. The good is obviously my happiness and my stress level being lowered immensely. I stress now on things I have passion behind or normal daily life stresses instead of stressing on a job I truly don't stand behind. I just couldn't do it anymore and feel so happy to be out of that mindset, however, being an entrepreneur comes with a lot of its own struggles. One big one is a steady paycheck not always being promised to you each week. You don't have set vacation days where you can leave the office and not take anything with you. Yeah sure, working from home is great and getting to choose why and when I do things is awesome, but I also find myself working 24/7, 7 days a week and actually stressing about taking time off. It's a very weird dynamic that comes with wins and losses like anything else in life. I'm basically working 3 jobs right now: my blog, My Haute Society (the blogger community I created with my blogger bestie randomly a couples months after quitting my full time job) and a part time receptionist job I took to keep somewhat of a steady payment coming in. It's crazy and exhausting, but it's working and every day I have to remind myself of that. Yeah there are definitely times I look back and think about the fact that when I had one job that brought in $50k+ a year I didn't have to bring anything home with me... Except stress and an unfulfilled life. I have to remind myself how I am a passionate, driven person and no matter what I would never feel as fulfilled as I do now. Money comes and go, life and passion are here right now and I'm living it.
Don't live the same year 75 times and call it life.
With Change Comes New Opportunities, New Experiences and New Challenges
One of the biggest things I've learned through this whole process is that if you want your life to change you need to be the one that hustles and changes it. Blogging is not easy AT ALL. You are basically selling yourself and your brand every day. The industry is extremely full and gets 100's if not 1000's of new people a day wanting to follow this career path. Brands aren't always, if ever, just knocking at your door and sending you emails to work with them. It's a constant hustle full of constant change from social media do's & don't's, to social algorithm controlling who sees your posts as well as the constant changing of seasons, styles and more. It's full of judging yourself against someone else's successes and having to hold your head high through the whole process. You basically do everything as an influencer from photo props, setting images and scenes, taking images, editing, writing the story behind each post, managing emails and marketing... This list goes on. It's very, very hard and very exhausting. Yes, it comes with a lot of fun events, and amazing free goodies, but free goodies and events don't pay the bills. Hustle pays the bills and selling your brand day in and day out is what keeps you afloat. It's been a crazy lesson to learn, but a fun one. I'm in control of my own success for once in my life and it feels so dang good.
I've learned that being open to new opportunities and running towards them is so important. Each new opportunity and experience comes with new challenges you need to overcome and basically teach yourself through the whole process. For instance, creating My Haute Society was a total decision made on a whim. Cara (my blogger bestie) and I talked about the idea 2 times and then hit the ground running. No, it hasn't been easy, but oh my gosh I can't believe where we have landed only 5.5 short months after going live. Running a company with my bestie has definitely presented its challenges, but it's also taught me so much and given me so many rewards through the process. If I would have never quit I would have never had the chance to jump into this opportunity and that alone proves to me I did the right thing. I have absolutely no idea what my life and career will look like 1 year from now, or really even 6 months from now, but that's okay with me. I know I can hustle, I know I believe in myself and I finally know the importance of following my passion. Do what makes you happy, make decisions with thought behind them and live your dang life, babes!
Thank you so much for following along on this journey... I can't wait to see what the future brings! I really hope this post on why I quit my full time job and how it changed my life helped show you the struggles, the happiness and the real life decisions that come with taking a risk. If you're searching for more positivity posts and posts that will inspire you check out a few of my favorites: Worry Less, Do More - Happiness is a Mindset and How I got to Actually Believing That - The Importance of Embracing your Weirdness.
The grass is greener where you water it.