I saw this quote yesterday and it spoke to me, so I decided to write a post about why it did. I can't sit here and say that life has been so crazy lately or that I've hit some low point or a dark cloud because that would be a lie. I have a husband, I have a home, I have food in front of me and I have a crazy big family backing me through it all. So what's the deal? Okay, so life in some ways has been crazy, but I don't even want to use that term anymore. This is my life. It's been in overdrive for the past 5+ years (maybe even longer) and I don't see it slowing down anytime soon. Life isn't crazy, life is just life. I've been through crazy times. Times my world actually was spinning around me and everything seemed dark and grey. Times when I really questioned God and what he was doing to my life, but this isn't one of those times. So why am I worrying every day? Why do I put so much thought into everything I'm doing or posting or writing about? Why do I question every move I make or question why I'm doing something at all? It's a big waste of time and so exhausting. It's holding me back from my dreams and it's sucking the life right out of me. The life God gave me. The bright soul he intended for me to shine into the world. I, myself, am dimming it.
"WORRY DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING, PRAYER DOES"
I've been praying a lot lately about this. Trying to get my head out of the dark place it decides to run to way too often. Praying is easy, at least for me, because I was raised on prayer, but listening to God is the more difficult part. Actually letting God into your heart and soul and listening to what his intentions are. Sometimes I get frustrated, which doesn't help my worrying. It's like I wish God could just yell something at me and then I think... Maybe he is and I'm just not listening hard enough. Prayer requires a lot of focus and if you're not focusing then how can you truly say you're praying? How can you really sit there and act as if you're putting your attention to God if you're just continuing to let your mind run?
"DO NOT FEAR, FOR I AM WITH YOU" - ISAIAH 41:10
Worry is the biggest thing that gets me. I could tack it onto so many parts of my life it's not even funny. With worry comes doubt and with doubt comes lack of energy, lack of creativity and a lack of doing. All negatives. I need to live and I need to start acting on life because I've realized the more time I sit here worrying about something the less I am actually doing which means the less I am moving towards my dreams and the more I will continue to worry. It's a crazy vicious cycle that too many of us get stuck in. I've had enough of the worry and I've had enough of questioning myself, questioning what I'm doing or questioning how people are perceiving me. If you're like me and can relate to anything in this post then please take this with you... Start doing, start living and start praying!