Life is too darn short to continue doing things that don't make you a better you. With all this change in my life I have spent some time figuring out ways to better myself, my marriage and my little family because with changes comes a lot of stress. You all know by now that I am a totally worrier and although all of our change is good it still comes with worry and it still comes with trying to do too much all at once. Here are my tips on 5 things to quit right now that will help you be happier and healthier.
Be You. Do You. For You.
#1: Stop Being Afraid of Change
I talked about this as my number 1 tip for having the best year in 2018 except I phrased it as being ready for change. I know want to talk about the need to stop being afraid of change because without doing that you can never really be ready for it. Change is absolutely necessary in every single persons life. Without allowing yourself and your life to go through change you are never really allowing yourself to grow. Not all change needs to be drastic. Even doing the smallest thing can be helpful in growth however I am huge believer that big changes are what make us the best version of ourselves. It's something about testing yourself and having to figure things out in a way you never had to before that makes your thinking truly different. I pushes and pulls you and without feeling that I think you're missing out on something.
You all know that Kirby and I are yet again going through a drastic change. He found a new job, we are moving states after 6 years in Colorado and we are welcoming our first baby in September. I won't sit here a say I didn't stress about this because I did. I laid awake a few nights wondering if the move was going to change the couple we had become. I stressed that we would miss our life away from family and become overwhelmed being so close. It's sounds crazy, but it's true. How could I not think these things after so many years of doing our own thing? However, I never let these thoughts eat away at my head. I never let them overtake the excitement I felt for this change and I never let that stop us. If you let your fears own your thinking that you will hold yourself back from some of the best decisions of your life and never really know what you're missing.
#2: Stop Trying to Please Everyone
I myself am such a people pleaser. I just like to make people happy and I find that I beat myself up if I think I failed at it. Let's be real, you will never make everyone happy. It's just not going to happen and thinking you can will only cause stress and negative energy in your life that totally isn't needed. I know I'm not alone in wanting to make people happy either. I think a majority of the population wants to please everyone. It's just human nature, but I think how you handle it is really what makes the difference.
When i became happier and healthier on my own and for me I realized that people were just generally happier around me. I didn't stress about saying no to an event and I didn't stress about not making it to every celebration. I wrote about knowing when to say "No" and how life changing it really is. I think this goes hand in hand with knowing that you can't and should't try to please everyone.
#3: Stop Putting Yourself Down
Since we're on the topic of loving yourself its important to know that putting yourself down will not accomplish anything. Negative self-talk is very really for so many people. It becomes an ugly circle of putting yourself down, not believing in yourself and not seeing the light that God created you to be. Loving yourself is the most important thing ever. Pushing your mindset into positivity and really focusing on the good is difficult for a lot of people. I think putting yourself down can then spiral into so many little aspects of your life that truly affect your everyday. For example, trying to please everyone and then when you don't you beat yourself up about it. What's the point?
The whole world is already hard enough on us. Without having self love, what do we really have? You can't constantly lean on someone else to build you up. You need to be strong for you and you need to know the reasons behind loving yourself. I always say that I am my hardest critic. Sometimes I can't believe the thoughts that go through my head or the things I allow myself to worry about. It's such a waste of energy and it truly gets me no where good. Happiness is a mindset and without working at that everyday I would be lost in a sea of negativity. I now work so hard on stopping those feelings of putting myself down the second they start and I simple remind myself of everything I have to be thankful for and why I'm thankful for me, myself and I. God loves to hear that and it only makes your light shine brighter.
Nothing changes, if nothing changes.
#4: Stop Living in the Past
Doing Focusing on past situations or past events is a big waste of time. You can't change things, you can't change how you reacted or what you did or what you didn't do. By focusing on the past you can put yourself down simply because you can do anything about it. Kirby's favorite saying to help me with things is, "It is, what it is." Sounds simple and it's meant to be. It is, what it is babes and without having he power to change something from the past you need to let it go. Moving on and accepting what happened or what didn't happen is a huge jump into change. Growing from the past is really important, but living in the past gets nothing done.
#5: Stop Overthinking
This is a topic I feel like I could write a book on because I am the biggest over-thinker out there. Overthinking life, situations, people, really anything used to run my life. My overthinking would cause a ripple effect into so many negative things. I would overthink to the point of thinking I needed to please other people before myself. I would overthink to the point of putting myself down because of something I did or said. I would overthink to the point of not allowing myself to jump into change because of what could happen. Seeing the pattern here?
I personally think that overthinking things or worrying is the root of all negative energy. God gave us the power to think freely however He didn't intend for us to use it this way. We aren't built to stress about every little aspect of our lives. We are built to love and to enjoy each and every day the God gifts us with. Wasting energy on things we can't control or spending so much time overthinking things will take away from the beauty of life. This is the biggest thing I have worked on over the past few years and it has changed my world. Like I stated, it goes into everything so by changing this I was finally able to see the truth behind happiness being a mindset and how I controlled that. Yes, I still struggle because I'm human and I'm not perfect. but my overall thinking is forever different and I will continue to work on this + focus on this for the rest of my life.
Those who move forward with a happy spirit will find that things will always work out. - Gordon B. Hinckley