Self love is way more difficult than one would think. I am a huge believer that we are the hardest critics on ourselves and sometimes it can be down right exhausting. I have always been someone that has struggled with self love and I'm finally over it. I'm sick of being down on myself while the rest of the world continues to remind me of the light I am. God didn't create me to sit here and wallow in my own feelings, my own reactions or my own bad views of who I am. I have been thinking about this a lot lately and figured I might as well open up to my fave babes on how I am dealing with self love. It's a day by day, step by step process and not easy so again, don't be hard on yourself because that would defeat the purpose. Here are my 3 ways to start loving yourself more. They're simple, straight to the point and exactly how I am feeling. No one is perfect, but we are all beautiful souls.
The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. - Maya Angelou
1: Stop Being so Hard on Yourself
I am so trying to focus on this everyday babes. Like I stated before I am my hardest critic and it is insane sometimes to think about how hard I really am on myself. Sometimes it could even be the smallest thing and I'll beat myself up about it like a crazy person. Why? Why do I care so much if it's not really even affecting anyone else? I've talked to my friends and sisters about this previously. It's definitely nice knowing I'm not always alone, but that still doesn't fix the issue. Being hard on yourself is only going to stop if you want it to. I listen to some of the things I say to Kirby if I make a mistake and its insane to hear what I'll say about myself. He'll even look at me and be like, you need to chill on yourself babe. Which is so nice to hear and honestly I think is what truly made me start realizing how hard I am on myself. A change has been needed for a while and I am finally ready to take that on.
Being hard on yourself can go into so many different things. It can be your work and not meeting the deadlines you've set, or it can be about being a wife, daughter, sister or mom. Criticizing every little thing you do won't get you anywhere. It will only hold you back and keep you from showing the amazing light you are into this world. Let it go, pick yourself up and realize that people make mistakes. Being perfect would be so boring and the things you're judging yourself on are most likely only coming from you, no one else. One thing I started focusing more on was the weirdness God gifted me with and I talked about it in one of my latest post; The Importance of Embracing your Weirdness. No, it hasn't fixed everything, but it has made me start to see the good I bring into the world and to stop being so serious or hard on my imperfect self all the time.
2: Stop the Negative Self-Talk
This definitely goes into the point of needing to be easier on yourself. Self-talk is a crazy thing to me. I am someone, like a lot of you, who is constantly in my head. I over analyze every situation and everything I do all the time. To be honest, I used to run from it and try to push it down without really dealing with it. In my opinion that solves nothing. I have now started to hit things head on and deal with the negativity that comes into my head on a daily basis. Like anything, some days are better than others, but realizing it's there is the first step to fighting it.
I'm sick of overthinking the little things I do and getting stuck in a negative mindset of something that probably doesn't make a big difference to anyone but me. Having a positive mindset is so important. It's exactly why I chose my blog motto as Happiness is a Mindset because it really is. I actually did a post about a year ago on Happiness is a Mindset and How I got to Actually Believe It. Fighting the negative thoughts in my head and reminding myself of the good I have everyday + the light I show into this world is what keeps me smiling. Life is too short to beat yourself up about every little thing. What's even the point?
3: Start Seeing the Good in Everyday
Each day has good within it and is truly a beautiful gift. Being able to see that beauty is all up to you. In order to get yourself out of the negative thought process and out of being so hard on yourself its important to start each day by focusing on the good you have. I've tried to start listing off 3 things every morning in my head that I love about myself. I actually laughed the first time I did it because it was kind of hard. I almost felt this sense of guilt for liking something in me. How weird is that?
I forget how to love myself some days, but I keep trying. I keep trying. And that alone is victory. - Alison Malee
Finding the things you like in yourself, loving them hard and then projecting them into the world is exactly what God intend you to do. Don't ever feel bad or conceded for loving yourself or finding the little things that are truly amazing about you. Its crazy how easy it is to pull the bad out of us and focus on that but then how difficult it is to see the great. Working on pulling 3 things each morning has actually become fun for me and even funny to be honest. I'll take little things like what I do around the house and pat myself on the back. It might sound silly, but those are the things that we forget about and the things that can maybe be the little pick-me-ups we need to build ourselves up one day. Every day isn't difficult, but when the day is hard its even more difficult to find the good. So focusing on finding it between the great and not so great days is really important.
I hope these 3 ways to start loving yourself more help remind you that you're not alone in the negative thinking, but that focusing on the good is a very possible mindset to enter.