I am still a worrier and I think I always will be. I've been trying to grow as a person and now a mama to be so that I don't sit worrying my days and nights away about everything. I don't only worry on the bad or stressful things, I also worry about the good things. It's a really weird cycle. As Kirby and I are going through so much change right now and have so many events, moving parts and things coming up in the future it's hard not to allow my mind to run constantly. I wanted to update this post that I wrote a year ago and add some tips on how I'm trying to worry less do more.
I saw this quote yesterday and it spoke to me, so I decided to write a post about why it did. I can't sit here and say that life has been so crazy lately or that I've hit some low point because that would be a lie. I have a husband, I have a home, I have food in front of me and I have a crazy big family backing me through it all. So what's the deal? Okay, so life in some ways has been crazy, but I don't even want to use that term anymore. This is my life. It's been in overdrive for the past 5+ years (maybe even longer) and I don't see it slowing down anytime soon. Life isn't crazy, life is just life.
I've been through crazy times. Times my world actually was spinning around me and everything seemed dark and grey. Times when I really questioned God and what he was doing to my life, but this isn't one of those times. So why am I worrying every day? Why do I put so much thought into everything I'm doing or posting or writing about? Why do I question every move I make or question why I'm doing something at all? It's a big waste of time and so exhausting. It's holding me back from my dreams and it's sucking the life right out of me. The life God gave me. The bright soul he intended for me to shine into the world. I, myself, am dimming it.
"WORRY DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING, PRAYER DOES"
If you've read one of my latest post How to Stay Positive in the Midst of Chaos you would know that I myself can fall in and out of being close to God. I don't forget about him, but I forget to utilize him. The power of prayer is life changing and without it I can't even imagine the person I would be. I tend to lose site of just how important prayer is when my life gets crazy because I focus so much on everything else. I sit up worrying at night about this or about that when I could be praying. I could be praying for help, I could be praying thanks for all I have and I could be praying to trust the way. The more and more I focus myself on Him the more I forget about my worries and understand the rue meaning of trust His path. It is so not easy to do and sometimes takes me repeating the same thing over and over again until I'm asleep, but it works.
I can still relate to what I wrote below. There are times I get annoyed that I can't focus more on prayer and I can't hear His voice as much as I want to, but He is there. He is always there. I've really been more so working on not losing touch with him ever. Whenever I lose touch is when it becomes more difficult to get back. Staying in the light always, even if it's just making sure your mind is there a few times a day, is what helps me. I wrote about starting my day with God in my last post 6 Tips for a Healthy Morning Routine and that has really worked with keeping my day on track and with less worry.
I've been praying a lot lately about this. Trying to get my head out of the dark place it decides to run to way too often. Praying is easy, at least for me, because I was raised on prayer, but listening to God is the more difficult part. Actually letting God into your heart and soul and listening to what his intentions are. Sometimes I get frustrated, which doesn't help my worrying. It's like I wish God could just yell something at me and then I think... Maybe he is and I'm just not listening hard enough. Prayer requires a lot of focus and if you're not focusing then how can you truly say you're praying? How can you really sit there and act as if you're putting your attention to God if you're just continuing to let your mind run?
"DO NOT FEAR, FOR I AM WITH YOU" - ISAIAH 41:10
Like I stated above & below, worry is still something I struggle with every day. As my life continues to change and we continue down this big adventure its hard not to. I feel so beyond blessed to be pregnant and to have the opportunity of welcoming a new child of God into the world, but boy oh boy does it come with worry. I worry if things will work out, I worry for a healthy baby and I already worry about God forbid something happening to my child. How crazy is that? But unlike below, I have come a long way. I no longer let myself wander deep into my mind like I did a year ago. I focus on being thankful for what I have and giving thanks for the life & new life God has blessed me with. I even focus on thanking God for the hardship or setbacks because with each small thing comes a lesson and a comes with growth. Giving thanks is truly the easiest way to ease your mind.
Worry is the biggest thing that gets me. I could tack it onto so many parts of my life it's not even funny. With worry comes doubt and with doubt comes lack of energy, lack of creativity and a lack of doing. All negatives. I need to live and I need to start acting on life because I've realized the more time I sit here worrying about something the less I am actually doing which means the less I am moving towards my dreams and the more I will continue to worry. It's a crazy vicious cycle that too many of us get stuck in. I've had enough of the worry and I've had enough of questioning myself, questioning what I'm doing or questioning how people are perceiving me. If you're like me and can relate to anything in this post then please take this with you... Start doing, start living and start praying!